Reality continues to ruin my life.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.