I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.