I drank because it was lovely and I needed a calm to understand the reality.

Sometimes the anxiety takes over and I can’t seem to fathom the love he gives me.

I don’t want content. I want slight fear. Anxiety. I want a longing devotion for a twist of absence. The feeling of complete isn’t quite pleasing.

I wasn’t obsessed with him until I felt him fading. But maybe I was always obsessed, I just didn’t feel the anxiety of it until the trust was gone.