My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.