Heaven makes you family, but a new generation of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors can make you friends.

Not only do women hold up half the sky; we do it while carrying a 500-pound purse.

Ever notice there are no clocks in stores? It's like casinos; they don't want you to know how much time you've spent dropping your quarters.

Having an unresolved Bad Boyfriend issue is like carrying around credit card debt . . . which can still show up and wreck your rating.

Boys are rewarded for playing games where they line up by height and then run into walls. Perhaps I'm making that up--or perhaps you should do a Google search for "Guy Runs into Wall for Fun.