When someone genuinely laughs with you, it’s proof that you share a certain internal space. And that’s not so lonely after all.

I see birthdays as a reward for having shown up 365 in a row. It's like getting a badge for attendance.

Men fake sleep the way women fake orgasms: to be left alone already.

From age sixteen to age twenty, a woman's body is a temple. From twenty-one to forty-five, it's an amusement park. From forty-five on, it's a terrarium.

Not only do women hold up half the sky; we do it while carrying a 500-pound purse.

My therapist has helped me learn to understand that if you don't unpack your own emotional baggage it's no longer baggage--it's deadweight.

Ever notice there are no clocks in stores? It's like casinos; they don't want you to know how much time you've spent dropping your quarters.

We all enter this world crying. Laughter is something we have to learn.

After a certain age, you finally become the indisputable authority on the subject of yourself.