Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.