My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.