I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.