37 Quotes by Jimmy Carr about funny

  • Author Jimmy Carr
  • Quote

    I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

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  • Author Jimmy Carr
  • Quote

    My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

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  • Author Jimmy Carr
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    A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

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  • Author Jimmy Carr
  • Quote

    I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

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  • Author Jimmy Carr
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    Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.

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  • Author Jimmy Carr
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    I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

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