Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).

It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.

Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.

Our tongue wants what tastes good to it, not what is good for us.

Fortunately, some people eat a lot or drink only on special occasions. Unfortunately, they see every—or almost every—day of their lives as a special occasion.

Dear God, Thank you for another day, my health, and the internet.

Fools refuse to truly believe that a thing can be both delicious or pleasurable … and harmful.

The quality of the mind is greatly shaped by that of the brain.

You can care about someone’s health, future, and/or safety more than they do, or even though they don’t, but you cannot love them more than they love themselves.