68 Quotes by Neil Gaiman about humor
- Author Neil Gaiman
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What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is there?
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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There are some dogs which, when you meet them, remind you that, despite thousands of years of man-made evolution, every dog is still only two meals away from being a wolf. These dogs advance deliberately, purposefully, the wilderness made flesh, their teeth yellow, their breath a-stink, while in the distance their owners witter, "He's an old soppy really, just poke him if he's a nuisance," and in the green of their eyes the red campfires of the Pleistocene gleam and flicker.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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If you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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He opened the desk drawer, finding nothing but small pots of paint (used for brightening up antiques) and a paintbrush. He wondered if he would be able to throw paint in the man’s face, and blind him for long enough to escape. He opened the top of a pot of paint and dipped in his finger.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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I would not wish to marry someone who had already been married. It would be,' she opined, 'like having someone else break in one's own pony.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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The house in the story is based on my friend Tori's house in Kinsale, Ireland, which is obviously not actually haunted, and the sound of people upstairs moving wardrobes around when you are downstairs there and alone is probably just something that old houses do when they think they are unobserved.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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...all tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into 'Best of Queen' albums. No particular demonic thoughts were going through his head. In fact, he was currently wondering who Moey and Chandon were.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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(...) and now only fragments of conversation would come back every now and again."Goldie is, like, such a good dog, and he was a purebred retriever, if only my dad would say okay, he wags his tail whenever he sees me."It's Christmas, he has to let me use the snowmobile."You can write your name with your tongue on the side of his thing."I miss Sandy."Yeah, I miss Sandy too."Six inches tonight they said, but they just make it up, they make up the weather and nobody ever calls them on it...
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