I bring the girl to a museum, try to show her a little culture, and she turns a Chihuly into a giant phallus.

You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.

Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?

Free drinks have no carbs.

Me? I go wherever the wind blows…and wherever the whiskey shots are half price.

Given his personality, I’d say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime.

You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.

I’m glad she’s so smitten with her new huntsman boyfriend and all, but venison-wurst? Gag me with a harpsichord.

Does getting nailed by a werewolf count as bestiality?