Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.