When someone hits you, just calmly get back up and say "You hit meh how dare you.

100% True Fact: Spam means; Sizzle, Pork and Mmmm. Someone tell me I'm wrong...

I accidentally punched myself in the face, while trying to pull up the blanket & If this doesn't accurately describe my life, I don't know what does.

Isn't it weird when you have 1 hand that can do everything, but the other other hand is just like "I don't know how to hold a pencil.

ME?! CRAZY?! no, you got it all wrong... I'm not crazy I'm just...Unique

If you are lonely, turn off all the lights and put on a horror movie, After a while it won't feel like your alone anymore.

I wish common sense was more common...

Tbh...I really don't have to worry about getting kidnapped. They'd return me in less than an hour.

Next time a stranger talks to you when you're alone, just look at them shocked and whisper "You can see me?