52 Quotes About 2011

Scary discovery of the day: Most people who RT @yokoono's tweets do so without irony.

I got my dad a great father's Day present. He called to say: 'Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.

Republicans know well that a change of rhetorical pace is necessary. But efforts by their leaders to damp down the bellicosity of newly elected Tea Party types is running into the fact that the Tea Partiers have only the high volume setting on their amplifiers, just like Palin. They're like a couple having a fight at a funeral; politely sotto voce, then suddenly bursting out fortissimo with their plaints and accusations.

The Fiddle Creek Steakhouse [in Stephenville, TX] started selling what they called an 'Alien Secretion' shot: ¾ shot of Malibu rum, ¾ shot of melon or Midori liqueur, ½ ounce of sweet and sour mix, ½ ounce of pineapple juice.

YOU GET A GOOD COMBINATION OF RESENTMENT AND ARROGANCE GOING YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOU'LL END UP IN SOMETHING THAT IS PRETTY MUCH INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM HELL AND ALSO THAT FEELS LIKE IT LASTS FOR AN ETERNITY...

When Loughner himself speaks and we find out his real influences are Spiderman, 'Gnome Chomsky,' Taylor Swift, and Dr. Bronner, then what?

I am just mystified by these people telling me I would think Obama was doing a great job if his skin contained less melanin.

American political culture quickly and always outpaces any attempt to satirize it.

Incestuous, homogeneous fiefdoms of self-proclaimed expertise are always rank-closing and mutually self-defending, above all else.