462 Quotes About Absurd

Stick Boy liked Match Girl,He liked her a lot.He liked her cute figure,he thought she was hot.But could a flame ever burnfor a match and a stick?It did quite literally;he burned up quick.

Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

A man is an angel that has gone deranged.

I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.