1,680 Quotes About Comedy

Smile, it’s the second best thing youcan do with your lips.

So what we are right now is a pair of dickweeds in a hotel room in Sydney. My life is royally fucked up right now and from where I’m sitting, your life is even bloody worse.

If you knew how many hidden depths I had your pretty eyes would pop right out of your winsome face. Not literally of course - that would be disgusting. I wouldn’t envy the man who had to clean up a pair of popped eyes, especially given the state of this deck. I’m not sure we even have any cleaning products that work for popped eyes, although I suppose a general viscera cleaner would do the trick.

When you can't make it, just fake it

If you put any effort into anything you do and have a strong sense of self to the point where you don’t even question your choices before you walk out of the house— you’re a fucking weirdo.

This is what my high school life had become—a horror show of epic, mind-fuck proportions.

Laughter is the best medicine

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

I shall now express my utter disgust and anger with you through the piano.