1,680 Quotes About Comedy

Rare contact creates a stir. Gossip spreads. Tensions build. Denying Pissec, miserable Obelmäker and repressed Baumauer are all seething-jealous – openly or reservedly – within the hour. The pay rise promise is working a treat. Brichacek’s licking the tip of a pencil with her sticky pink tongue. “Stop flirting,” he tells her, but he looks at her breasts and thinks, The girls with the bruises in the sex films are just dead dolls, but this pretty toy is alive.

You know that's why mermaids swim around topless all the time, right? It's because their boobs are too big and all bras are C shells.

Only men with intelligence, confidence and absolutely no empathy at all can progress upstairs.

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?

I wouldn’t be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country.

I ordered a single espresso because I wanted a drink I could hook up with.

The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.

To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.

Are there not times, Ridley, when you yourself wish only to hear the best in people – and not to be dragged downwards into the underworld we all regularly inhabit?