1,680 Quotes About Comedy

My personal motto has always been if you've already dug yourself a hole too deep to climb out of, you may as well keep digging.

It's theology. Were you expecting sex, drugs, and rock and roll?""One out of the three would be nice.

People in blind love throw away common sense, conscience and comedy from the life.

After all, this was the place where I’d had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football’s first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil.

Can I speak to Sayvyer, please?”“You’re looking for the savior? At 1:15 a.m.?”“No. her name’s Sayvyer.”“There’s no savior here. Especially not at 1:15 a.m.

Dating someone exclusively for four months in New York is like four years in Anchorage.

It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows.

The male tax?”“Yeah. The tax that men have to pay for not having to menstruate every month. Or risk getting pregnant. Or deal with the physically stronger sex in a macho world… Women have to put up with all that stuff, so the least we men can do is pay the male tax and get the tab.

Check my riddle, and I’ll let you play my fiddle.