1,680 Quotes About Comedy

There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.

antidepressant: (n.) any of various energetic techniques for warding off parasitic friends, colleagues, and family members.

He wanted to break up with me in the cafeteria? Fat chance. I leaned toward him and touched his arm in a girlfriend sort of way. “If you planned to stage a public breakup with me, you can forget it.”Amusement showed in his hazel eyes. “Think you can stop me?

Fate gives us relatives for one reason: so that we have to learn how to deal with people we'd otherwise never know.

When my mother passed away several years ago—well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn’t ‘pass away.’ She died. Something about that verb, ‘to pass away’ always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through the wallpaper. No, my mother did not pass away. She definitely died.

These days, you could stage a three-point orgy in the garden and nobody would bat an eye...

Why would a comediotic guy like Buzz Aldrin worry about who said what first? He was on the %$#@!+-oon!

I still believe that sketch may be a cure for low-level depression if watched regularly.

Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.