381 Quotes About Dark-humor

But you know, mon petite, what you got is a gift. And when de good Lord gives you a gift you have to use it. Dat's why he put you here on dis earth. Sometime it's gonna be to help a soul cross over to de other side to meet him. If dat's whey you gott do, den dat's what you gotta do. You can't just keep collecting de dead. You gonna have to find a way to take what you got and work wit dat.

All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I’m being judged.

You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal.

The moral high ground proved to be one hell of an aphrodisiac...

You may be married to a star, but that doesn't mean they'll treat you like one.

I want to commit suicide but am afraid someone will think I am crazy.

Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out.

The great thing about suicide is that it’s not one of those things you have to do now or you lose your chance. I mean, you can always do it later.

So, can I have kids with the bitch before I put her six-feet deep?