316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

I've found a good balance in life is about 50% work and 50% celebration, but mostly celebration.

I try to shake the thought away. “I don’t know what she’s talking about. He’s not nearly handsome enough to tempt me.” No one catches my Pride and Prejudice reference, of course.

Have we got any lamps? I've grown so accustomed to having electricity in the flat that I completely forgot.''All taken care of, my lady,' I said. 'Lamps, oil, candles, matches... all in that tea chest over there.''What would I do without you?'I thought for a moment. 'Starve to death, my lady. In the dark.

Do you butter your own popcorn?

Just think if your reading this now, remember that you're the sperm that won.

In the sudden silence, the crunching became absurdly loud, the demolition of small artificially flavored rice puffs filling the entire living room

Maybe it's fate Hound ate the map. Maybe we'll discover something wonderful while we're lost.

My hand. Is on. His penis.

Yes, Toshi. Spill the peas.