286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

I grabbed the nearest bit of rigging and pulled as hard as I could, hoping I had the right line, or hoping I at least looked helpful while doing the wrong thing.

There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon.

Falling in love and falling to your death feel about the same, I thought. And I almost laughed.

We get ourselves in trouble because it's a cheap way to get attention. Trouble is a faux form of fame.

Nothing," she said, "upsets me more than being hungry; I snarl and snap and burst into tears.

After this, he'd probably be going to zoos, climbing the enclosure, saying, 'Here, watch this...' Famous last words, as yet another unfit human is removed from the gene pool.

April Fools' is the only day to take people seriously.

God of blind believers is most likely to be cock-eyed.

I was about to speak when the maître d’hôtel advanced on our table. He showed me the wine label, all smiles as if showing me a photo of his only son. I nodded. He unscrewed the cork with a pleasant pop, then poured out a small mouthful in my glass. It tasted like the price of the entire dinner.