286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.

Do you get the feeling that they're talking about someone else other than an article?"Kami stared at her fork, lying forlornly askew on her plate. "I don't know what you could mean! You are talking crazy!"" They are talking about boys," Dad told Tomo and Ten. " I believe your mother may have concerns about Kami and a Lynburn boy. Possibly in a tree. Potentially k-i-s-s-i-n-g. I couldn't say.

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what size of the onion, the dish or the woman

I was the girl with cake batter in her hair, egg on her shirt and her foot in her mouth. Always.

I come from a long line of miserable people.

Stoplights and love can be cruel

What is about Army uniforms? Especially combats. They are just drool-worthy, if you ask me.

There were girls at school whose families grew to a robust five or six. There were girls with seven or eight-which was thought a little enthusiastic - and then there were the pathetic ones like me, who had parents that were just helpless to it, and bred as naturally as they might shit.