286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

I am not pointing fingers, but rather pointing at the facts, as the facts point fingers regardless.

I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both.

To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!

I would die for you, my love—in old age.

Scroll through a list of books online, and you will find page after page after page of book covers with shirtless guys and titles that scream BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE! or ALPHA-MALE PARANORMAL WEREWOLF ROMANCE! or something equally ridiculous. All these shitty books look like clones of each other. There's not an original thought in sight.

Pure wisdom is the 'fruit of life'; banal platitudes are the 'bane of existence'.

It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man. Imagine you're starving, and someone puts a huge buffet in front of you. There's delicious, mouth-watering food all around you, and it's really really hard not to eat it all. That's what it's like to be a man around attractive women. The urge to want to hump everything that moves is part of a man's natural programming. It's a deep-seated hunger. To suppress that hunger takes civilization and a lot of willpower.

Chocolate cake and a diamond ring? In bed with the man of my dreams?

Well sue me for staring. I'd be willing to scrub away my shame on his washboard abs.