289 Quotes About Funny-humor

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell.

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. And then walk into a pole.

Everything is going as planned until I notice that Ashley has barely touched her wine glass or food after ordering the priciest bottle and several of the most expensive dishes on the menu.From "My Worst Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story

Gotta be more specific sunshine." He winked at me before starting another. "You might want to get that eye problem checked out. One might mistaken it for flirting.

Humour sustains us during failure; more so after success, when we're prone to fail that much more, daring abyss, pumped up with success.

All my firends are like 'Can you be on my side in the zombie apacalypse?' And i'm like 'I got this.

The next day the stock market crashed. Hemmingway didn’t quite understand what it all meant, but from the way the white people in town were running around like chickens without heads, she took it as an omen.

But he saw a rare determination in Haley's eyes. I can trust Haley's judgement, he told himself, even as he remembered how Haley had eaten that cheddar with the mold growing on it two weeks before.Cheese and people are not the same.

For once Yancy didn't mind driving to Miami. Dr. Rosa Campesino had agreed to meet for lunch. On the Eighteen-Mile Stretch he got stuck behind a minivan with a CHOOSE LIFE bumper sticker. "Choose the accelerator! How's that for starters?" Yancy was shouting, pounding on the horn.