5,226 Quotes About Humour

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Never look in the mirror when your stressed it’s contagious

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

He must have looked as radiant as he felt because Sara tilted her head and gave him the sort of look she normally reserved for baby bunnies.

When you demand the fantasy world to blow your mind, remember that the real world has teeth.

When the only exorcise you get is running for a bus, get more buses!

While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all.

A sneeze can never be to far away