323 Quotes About Random

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.

Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway.'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully.'Huh?' said Lester.

Awesome ends with me; but Ugly starts with u...

We are surrounded by the absurd excess of the universe. By meaningless bulk, vastness without size, power without consequence. The stubborn iteration that is present without being felt. Nothing the spirit can marry. Merely phenomenon and its physics. An endless, endless of going on. No habitat where the brain can recognize itself. No pertinence for the heart. Helpless duplication.

People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for.

Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number" - Jaxson Evans

Learning how to be a human to be human by attending a frat is alike learning how to ride a horse by going to a Tijuana donkey show.