1,147 Quotes About Sarcasm

Would you like to stand next to me and introduce yourself to the class?'' Smiled Mr Zimmerman, the English teacher.Nope, I would rather turn into bat! Leave me the heck alone. Ughh, why is it teachers ask ' Would you like to?' No teen ever wants to stand in front of strangers and be forced to talk about them. - Lenore Lee from Whitby After Dark

Such polite manners for an armed man who was kidnapping me. Danilo could take a few lessons from him.

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will.

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.

I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, "You should have him murdered.

Then I wondered if that was what this was, like a Brokeback Mountain thing. We’d sleep in the same bed for a year, and finally we’d do it, but we’d never talk about it, ever, and then Ben would get married and I’d be killed in Texas.Probably not, but you can never be too careful with these things.

What? You mean this crap shack isn't part of the Four Seasons. Shocking.

It’s not complicated and it doesn’t compare to my problem, now give me a damn cookie I think I earned it,” Jill snapped.Chris grinned like it was Christmas morning. “Yes, you did.” He brought her a cookie. “Very good, my young one. You’ve made Chris very happy with this little tidbit of information.