1,147 Quotes About Sarcasm

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

Facebook is that successful guy you’re supposed to want to date, but you can’t keep your mind off the beautiful freak in the corner. Twitter is my freak.

The words, I love you, are empty without clarification. Women prefer to be told what they can expect. It is measurable like a Weight Watcher’s diet, with extra points at the end of the week if you don’t cheat.

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.

-I am alergic to these flowers.-I know.

The important thing is that there are children that need to be saved near you and you need to hurry or there will be dire consequences. Think you can do that, Buttercup?’ - Seraphina, seer

You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!

...even though I was getting better education at home than any of the kids in Toyah, I'd need to go to finishing school when I was thirteen, both to acquire social graces and to earn a diploma. Because in this world, Dad said, it's not enough to have a fine education. You need a piece of paper to prove you go it.

It’s adorable how he assumes I’m in here making myself pretty instead of smearing a pentagram on the floor in my own blood and casting hexes on him.