Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldn't be the bad guy in the joke; he couldn't upset people, really.

I enjoyed writing for someone else's voice, but I wasn't very good at it.

Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and 'I hope horrible things don't happen to my family,' but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I’ll think is funny.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn’t want to talk about, like death.

I don’t ever want to have kids of my own. But I do want a lot of kids.

Everyone gets laid off and everyone in Hollywood gets unemployment for six months while they’re looking for a new job. So I would just do stand-up for six months and think I was really making it, and when my unemployment ran out, I had to get another job immediately.

It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn’t want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, “I need you guys.” I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn’t want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me.

I don’t think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don’t embrace them.

I’m actually a really nice guy, once you get to blow me.