President Clinton broke ground Saturday for the World War II memorial in Washington. He’ll never have the military’s full respect. However, after surviving ten female accusers, he’s been made an honorary member of the Tailhook Association.

Hillary showed off a new set of White House china at the mansion’s 200th birthday dinner Thursday. She said she helped design it. It’s thanks to her that all the White House china looks like it’s been glued back together.

Hillary Clinton will travel to Vietnam with the president this Friday. It’s a fact that at the height of the war in 1971, she tried to enlist in the Marines, but they turned her down. Apparently we weren’t that mad at the Viet Cong.

President Obama met with ten House Democrats opposed to the health care bill. He did all he could to get their votes. He promised to campaign for them in their districts and when that didn’t work, he threatened to campaign for them in their districts.

Senate Democrats vowed Sunday to kill President Bush’s energy plan. They think this is their ticket back to the White House in 2004. All they have to do now is figure out a way to get cars to run on beautiful pictures of Alaska.

Fox News reported Thursday that Bill Clinton can’t get into any of New York’s better golf and country clubs. Not one member has been willing to sponsor him. So it’s official, he really is America’s first black president.

President Obama hosted lawmakers Thursday saying he wanted bipartisan input on health care reform. Nobody’s mind was changed. At the summit’s end he threatened to go with the nuclear option, showing he’s tougher on Republicans than he is on Iran.

If it turns out that Barry Bonds used steroids to bulk up and add muscle mass, he could get four to eight years as governor of California.

No wonder we keep testing positive in their bicycle races. Everyone looks like they’re full of testosterone when they’re surrounded by Frenchmen.

There’s no shortage of attention junkies with large breasts in Hollywood but only Michael Moore’s are real.