If you drink don't drive, don't even putt.

It looks like love It feels like love And I confess it's got me rocking on my heels like love How else can I account for that unexpected glow That turns the night to day each time we say hello

So I'm not going to drink anymore. I'm going to freeze it now and eat it like a Popsicle.

When asked for his hangover cure, I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello', 'goodbye', and 'I'm pregnant'.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

I know it’s the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I’m no gentleman.

There’s a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

Brother, you can’t go to jail for what you’re thinking, or that look in your eye, just standing on the corner watching all the girls go by.