All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.

Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.

I can't write five words but that I change seven.

If I had any decency, I'd be dead. Most of my friends are.

Cheque enclosed"" are the two most beautiful words in the English language

By the time you swear you are his, shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite and undying- Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of their tires.