Mountain climbers rope themselves together to prevent the sensible ones from going home.

Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think that she's attractive to the opposite sex.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.

The man who didn’t want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women – but not far enough to lose his balance.

There’s only one kind of tax that would please everybody – one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

He’s so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

Saying ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t really help the common cold – but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

Isn’t it a shame that future generations can’t be here to see all the wonderful things we’re doing with their money?