The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. It is he who invented the sublime art of ruining poetry.

Ah, the cows...

We should have a music of our own – if possible, without any Sauerkraut.

I have never written a note I didn’t mean.

When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. I am fifty. I haven’t seen anything.

Je suis venu au monde tres jeune dans un temps tres vieux.

Before I compose a piece, I walk around it several times, accompanied by myself.

Last year I gave several lectures on "Intelligence and Musicality among Animals" ... Today I am going to speak to you about "Intelligence and Musicality among Critics" ... The subject is much the same, with some modifications, of course.

I eat only white foods: eggs, sugar, grated bones, the fat of dead animals; veal, salt, coconut, chicken cooked in white water; fruit mold, rice, turnips; camphorated sausage, dough, cheese (white), cotton salad, and certain fish (skinless).

Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.