Many people talk of the “god-shaped void” in their lives that had been waiting to be filled by faith. Always in born-again hindsight, this is. Of course, in present tense, the void is usually first tested with drug- and carnality-shaped pieces until the person’s jigsawed chi bottoms out and settles for spirituality in the bonus round.

He who laughs last should not go out to movie theaters.

Reading without suspicion is more dangerous than blogging without authority.

The definition of success constantly evolves for the truly ambitious.

Borrowed time and stolen moments are those of which we take the most ownership.

If you save your best song for the encore, you won’t get one.

Hold the mail, I could swear that was funny. He must draw his powers from the others. A malevolent synergy, like when you multiply negative numbers.

My role is insignificant. Sure, there’s diaper detail and fire watch and general fawning, but aside from keeping our noses above the poverty line, I’m as useful to the kid as a philosophy degree.