Quotes by Hasan Minhaj

It is 2017, and we are living in the golden age of lying.

Every time a U.S.A. Today slides underneath my door, it's like they're saying, 'Hey, you're not that smart, right?'

Everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON One just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer.

Sean Spicer has somehow been doing PR since 1999, which is 18 years. Somehow, after 18 years, his go-to move was denying the Holocaust.

U.S.A. Today is what happens when the coupon section takes over the newspaper.

Donald Trump is liar-in-chief.

A lot of people in the media say that Donald Trump goes golfing too much, which raises a very important question: Why do you care? Do you want to know what he's not doing when he's golfing? Being president. Let the man putt-putt!

Donald Trump is not a 71-year-old white man. He is an Indian uncle. He wears suits that don't fit; he can't speak English properly. He works with his idiotic sons; he hates women but loves his daughter. He makes up words when he gets angry. He is an Indian uncle.

The movies 'Dope' and 'Straight Outta Compton' blew me away. I love seeing directors and writers of color make amazing slices of pop culture.

Growing up in the States, there's this part of me that's like, man, I'm Indian. Like, this is where I belong. And as soon as I got to India, and I had to go to the bathroom in some places, I was, like, 'Man - I am American.'