Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Life begins on your 40th birthday. But so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our yawns.

The tenderest spot in a man's makeup is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing. That is what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.

What a man calls his conscience is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her—and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

The follies which a man regrets most in life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

A man finds it awfully hard to lie to the woman he loves the first time.