Hungry and thirsty? Soup solves both problems at once.

The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.

A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.

It's not who you know that matters it's who knows you that's important. Personal branding builds up your reputation to the point where you have a presence even in your absence.

In the lobby of every business incubator there needs to be a bathtub, to get the ideas flowing. But to make it functional, it needs to be used as a fish tank.

In high school, I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated.

Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.

Gather the wheelchairs in a circle, and then summon the cripples. Would anybody care for a glass of discrimination

The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laundry has declined two folds.

Too much nudity is a turn off. Especially if all that flesh is on one person.