The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular differennce between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid.

I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.

She looked as if her phone had been ringing continually ever since she had reached puberty.

Please accept from me this unpretentious bouquet of very early-blooming parentheses: (((()))).

Anyway, I'm sort of glad they’ve got the atomic bomb invented. If there’s ever another war. I’m going to sit right the hell on top of it. I’ll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will.

If you're not in the mood, you can't do that stuff right.

People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily and he had very red hair.

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

It’s not too bad when the sun’s out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out.

When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don’t go. I’m too worried to go. I don’t want to interrupt my worrying to go.