And there’s a good reason for this: we are all so resistant to ditch this seemingly simple solution because diet culture has reinforced that restriction is a form of self-control, starvation is a spiritual practice, and if we can reach utopic obedience in these ways we will have instant access to heaven, where self-esteem, validation, and worthiness are liberally doled out with fistfuls of glitter and endless praise.

I’m here to propose something that I believe too few of us realize: “Health” is our new “beauty myth.

In the rules of dieting lives the centuries-old legacy of the second-class citizenship of women.

When we foster appreciation for and love ourselves, we start to contribute to the world in a way that allows equality, inclusivity, and all forms of kindness.

Here is one of the most important things I can tell you: confidence and resiliency when it comes to accepting your body has nothing to do with your body at all. They have everything to do with actively working toward becoming the best person you can be.4.

Our bodies are our physical bookmarks that hold space for us in the world.

As I reclined on her comfortable red couch, clutching a pillow to my chest while my session came to a close, I started to fully digest this frank truth: you can spend your life becoming the epitome of visual health and still be tragically, shockingly, and profoundly sick.

So I made the best decision of my life: I decided to love my body.

Our bodies cannot truly be hidden, no matter how many black outfits we wear. No matter how many pairs of Spanx we own. No matter how much we suck it in. Doesn’t it seem like a better use of our time to just accept the fact that our bodies are our bodies and live our lives like there is no tomorrow? I’m pretty sure the answer is yes.

I was convinced that I was the problem in the relationship; that if I were to do something different, things would get better. I was unaware at the time that this was simply a manifestation of my crucial need for control. That by convincing myself that it was me, I was convincing myself that I still had the power to fix it. If it was me that needed to change, I could do that! Absolutely! No problem! I could absolutely fix this.