When you dwell on the past, you are wasting the limited time you have on this earth. You are missing the beauty of the present moment. Place your attention and energy on the people and activities you love and how you can be of service, here and now. You are human, imperfect, and whole, just as you are.

BFF, bestie, buddy—there are many ways to describe friends. But what really makes a “good” or “close” friend? And why do some friendships feel like a cozy robe, while others feel like a scary movie?

Friendship Truth #3: Friendships have different phases and change over time.

Navigating conflict is not easy. If you decide to speak with the person you are in conflict with, find a private time and place to talk. Be sure not to involve others in the conflict. Practice what you plan to say so you are calm and confident. Your goal is to speak your truth, take responsibility for your part, and treat others with dignity. This is no easy task, but an important skill to practice over time.

Big emotions—like anger, fear, and sadness—can be really uncomfortable. But even uncomfortable feelings are okay. In fact, all emotions are okay. It just takes practice to manage uncomfortable emotions so you can respond in a healthy way.

Everyone has certain qualities that they are drawn to in friends. Keep an eye out for friends that have the qualities you find important in friendship. And, of course, being a good friend is the best way to attract and keep friends too.

The top of the Friendship Pyramid, Close Friends, is small and may only include one or two friends. That’s because close friends are harder to find, and these friendships usually take longer to develop. Don’t worry if you haven’t found any close friends yet; many girls may not have any until middle school or even later.

Friendships have different phases and change over time. All we can really control is ourselves. Be the type of friend you want to have!

If you’ve struggled in a friendship, you’re not alone. Most girls find that, sometimes, friendship feels like a roller coaster. One moment you’re climbing through fun and laughter; the next, you’re plunging into fear or frustration.

Friendship Truth #9: You choose which of your friendships to grow. Grow the healthy ones!