We were like farm animals compared to today’s players who are treated like thoroughbreds.

Lots of people look up to Billy Martin. That’s because he just knocked them down.

Opening day – or Opening Day. Depending on how you feel about it.

For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they’ve got 75 years to go.

How come nobody wants to argue with me? Is it because I’m always so right?

Pete Rose gets banned for life for gambling while the drug addicts are allowed back after a year; and then they get extra chances after that. Baseball is saying, in effect, that gambling is worse than drugs. How do kids make sense out of that?

If you had a pill that would guarantee a pitcher 20 wins, but might take five years off his life, he’d take it.

Back then, if you had a sore arm, the only people concerned were you and your wife. Now it’s you, your wife, your agent, your investment counselor, your stockbroker, and your publisher.

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don’t mean it.

You’re only as smart as your ERA.