'You're in America now,' I said. 'Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.'

What goes around comes around. And sometimes you get what’s coming around.

Magic comes from what is inside you. It is a part of you. You can't weave together a spell that you don't believe in.

When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching — they are your family.

Graves aren't for the dead. They're for the loved ones the dead leave behind them. Once those loved ones have gone, once all the lives that have touched the occupant of any given grave had ended, then the grave's purpose was fulfilled and ended.

My hair had grown out long and shaggy not in that sexy young rock star kind of way but in that time to take rover to the groomer kind of way.

Easter has been cancelled - they found the body.

So really, it was just as well that Godmother had caught up to me, in spite of my best efforts to avoid her. I'd hate to find out that the universe really wasn't conspiring against me. It would jerk the rug out from under my persecution complex.

Wake up on monday and start your day with a lot of awesomeness and you will get happiness back.

But I’ve noticed that people got the most irrational whenever family was around – while simultaneously losing their ability to distinguish reason from insanity. I call it familial dementia.