My only regret in the theatre is that I could never sit our front and watch me.

You can't drown yourself in drink, I've tried; you float.

There are three things a woman can make out of almost anything— a salad, a hat, and a quarrel.

You never realize how short a month is until you have to pay alimony.

A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized.

The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.

I’ve read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

The good die young, because they see it’s no use living if you have got to be good.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.