John Gray
John N. Gray is a British philosopher, political scientist, and writer, born on 17 April 1948 in South Shields, England.
Educated at Exeter College, Gray built a career as a university teacher alongside his work as a writer and public intellectual. He retired in 2008 from the London School of Economics and Political Science, where he had held the position of School Professor of European Thought. At some point he also received an honorary doctorate.
Since leaving full-time teaching, Gray has maintained a substantial presence in British intellectual life through his journalism and criticism. He contributes regularly to The Guardian and The Times Literary Supplement, and he writes for UnHerd as well. At the New Statesman he serves as lead book reviewer, a position that gives him a consistent platform for engaging with new work across a range of subjects. Writing in English and holding United Kingdom citizenship, he addresses a wide readership through these several outlets.
Gray has publicly identified as an atheist. His dual formation as a philosopher and a political scientist runs through his work as a writer, and his continued output across The Guardian, The Times Literary Supplement, UnHerd, and the New Statesman reflects an engagement that has persisted well beyond his retirement from academic life.
Quotes by John Gray
John Gray's insights on:
We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways. The ways we react and behave when we love someone.
Most of the time she just needs more understanding and affection and her heart will warm up again and her eyes will begin to sparkle.
When a woman innocently shares upset feelings or explores out loud the problems of her day, a man mistakenly assumes she is looking for some expert advice. He puts on his Mr. Fix-It hat and begins giving advice; this is his way of showing love and of trying to help.
One of the most difficult challenges in our loving relationships is handling differences and disagreements. Often when couples disagree their discussions can turn into arguments and then without much warning into battles. Suddenly they stop talking in a loving manner and automatically begin hurting each other: blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, resenting, and doubting.
Too much intimacy, too quickly, can cause women to become needy and men to pull away. Just as men have a tendency to rush into physical intimacy, women make the mistake of rushing into complete emotional intimacy.
Men primarily need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement. Women primarily need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.
Global laissez-faire is not a conspiracy of corporate America. It is a tragedy – one of several that have occurred in the twentieth century – in which an hubristic ideology runs aground on enduring human needs that it has failed to comprehend.
When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies.