You'd better not know so much than know so many things that ain't so.

Love is said to be blind, but I know lots of fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I can.

There is a great multitude of individuals who are like blind mules, anxious enough to kick, but can't tell where.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.

Revenge holds the cup to the lips of another but drinks the dregs itself.

Credit is like chastity, they can both stand temptation better than suspicion.

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel

Ambition is like a treadmill...you no sooner get to the end of it then you begin again.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They're different breeds of dogs.