You see things through a different lens when you have a child.

I'm a member of the Studio City Driving Range. They have a nice little par-3 AstroTurf course and driving range. You know, I don't belong to a course because I don't golf that much, so it's not worth it for me to join a club.

I met Adam Sandler through 'Saturday Night Live,' and we became friends.

I feel guilty: when I'm not golfing, I feel like I should be golfing. And when I'm golfing, I feel like I should be home working or spending time with the family. So it's a real conundrum.

People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing, but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'

Every time I think of Doug Wilson, I think 'pathetic.' When it comes between something for himself or something for righteousness, he'll choose himself.

To this day, I haven't felt like I've made it. I'm waiting for them to pull the rug out from under me. I kind of feel like George Plimpton; I'm just experiencing this whole business with the really talented people.

I always tell people if you think you are susceptible to a blood clot, go check with your doctor.

My heart started running away, like a pack of horses. Then it slowed down and became irregular.

Sometimes people come to my standup show, and they think they're going to see Doug Wilson. Or they see me on the street, and they call me Doug Wilson.